This winter is getting pretty gruesome. Not weather-wise, mind you, but baseball-wise. Dave Dombrowski and the rest of the Tigers' Front Office has figuratively thrown all us Tigers fans into a barren, cruel, no-Tigers-news world and slammed the Door of Exciting Offseason Moves in our faces.
Dramatic? Hmm, maybe, but are we really the only ones experiencing withdrawal so bad that it's only comparable to Jared Leto's condition circa Requiem for a Dream? We kind of doubt it. Once we get over our misery, however, it would be good of us to note that there is some upcoming fun stuff for us Tiger faithful. Let us list them!
1. Justin Verlander is on Conan!
This one is actually very, very exciting. This Wednesday night at 11 pm Justin Brooks Verlander will be gracing us with his glorious and godly presence on Conan on TBS. Now that he is Cy Young winner/MVP/Lord of All Baseball, I'm sure JV and Conan will talk at length about baseball stuff, how it feels to be so amazing, what is up with all the Ed Hardy stuff, blah blah blah. Speaking of which, what will Verlander wear? Seriously, the two of them could talk about dirt and we would be glued to the screen. Anything that connects us to the Tigs is a win win!
2. Rick Porcello was on MLB Network
Yes, we know this isn't an upcoming thing and that it already happened, but still...LOOK AT HIM! Watch his glorious interaction with the group has he regales us with stories ranging from his legendary takedown of Kevin PUKElis (original, we know), his 2010 struggles, and how hard it is to find a girlfriend gym in the offseason. And as usual Ricky is looking damn fine, if a little pale. It was a "Hot Stove" indeed!!!!!!!!!!!!! And of course it was nice to see a Tiger finally on there.
Yeah. "…"You know why? BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING ELSE. As glorious as it was to see Porcello and it will be to see Verlander, we all better start praying to Tebow that there will be something else going on in the near future, because we are turning into empty, hollow shells of our former selves due to lack of Tigers news. Maybe this is a good thing; as soon as the baseball season does actually come around, the three of us begin to act like one-track-minded 13-year-old boys, but instead of girls and boobs and girls all we can think of is baseball and baseball and baseball. So at least we have a semblance of a normal life. BUT IT'S NOT WHAT WE WANT.
The only thing that could sate us would be some nice, big happy signing or a safe-yet-inventive trade. Something that would result in a quality player who is a great addition to the team. An interesting/good player is the only thing we ask for!
…Well, either that or Rick Porcello signing a contract to model for Calvin Klein Underwear.
Withdrawal really is making us crazy.
For more great articles, be sure to visit April in the D.By aprilinthed